May 24, 2007
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I should really “hit the hay,” but I am so amused by some of Tannen’s stories in this book. They are so true to life, and they really outline/explain her theories well. And these stories are amusing because men, in general, don’t want to be told what to do because that interferes with their motive of independence, etc, yet it’s not like women are trying to take away from that when we say things like, “Let’s go to Bill’s this weekend,” etc. Women are more about a sense of community and connection and intimacy through communication. Very rarely are we women, big assumption I know, attempting to tell others how to live their lives. And because we don’t see that perspective and we ask men to do things and they see it differently, conflict arises when that wasn’t what women were going for to begin with. In general, we shy away from conflict and confrontation (although, again, I think that changes with certain people and situations), yet we end up there because we don’t recognize that men may not take our sincere attempt at togetherness as just that.
I can completely SEE how arguments happen now.
I could probably dissect some of my infamous “fights” with boys/guys/men now.
Interesting stuff.
Now, does it help that just I am realizing this? Not so much. Will I remember it all? Probably not.
Should everyone be required to read this book? Yes, even just certain itty bitty chapters since she’s broken it up into bite-sized pieces.There’s more to comment on and more notes to blog, but I think I may be coming down with something, so I’m going to go to bed early.
*Sidenote: Just as that one teacher I read about used the subject of the paranormal in her classroom, I could see myself using Gender Studies/Relationship Studies as a theme/subject. It affects EVERYONE; EVERYONE is affected by communicating with the opposite gender… hmm…
