June 16, 2008
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Topic-o-the Day: Friendship.
So, for some reason, I’ve really been thinking a lot lately about friendship. What makes a “friend,” what doesn’t… how friendship changes… how everyone’s criteria for someone become a “friend” is different… and I think a lot of that comes into play because we just experienced a wedding in my immediate family. Who does one invite and why and blahblahblah. As they opened gifts & cards yesterday, we started gossiping about who was there and who wasn’t (who left early, etc.); I got to thinking about those who I would want at my wedding, should that ever occur. Who would I truly have to have at my wedding? And it hit me that the ones who lasted to the end of Jed’s wedding were the ones I’d definitely want lasting until that very last song (in his case, “You Shook Me All Night Long” by AC/DC)… extremely close cousins, high school friends who’d known the couple since they were suffering through puberty, crazy co-workers of the couple, the non-party-poopers (hee hee hee) of the wedding party, the siblings (duh!), friends of the family who RSVP’d before they even got the invite in the mail…At certain points yesterday, it hit my mother that ‘oh, so & so didn’t come’ and she’d shrug as if to say, “Well, they missed a great time; their loss.” And I agreed.
I think, for me, my friends have started off as co-workers (long ago: Jessica, Kim, Amy, Katey, Kris-Ann, Codi; now: Cheryl, Tina, Kristi, Dana) and ended up becoming more than that (then and sometimes now) when things started to get really rough for me personally and professionally. One was a roommate of mine who has the same ideals, and I can call her after not having talked to her forever and we start on the same page (Fran). One is my significant other. Three are my siblings. A few are cousins. Would I invite them all to my wedding? Sure. Have I attended and/or been invited to all their functions/parties/weddings? Unfortunately, no. Has that changed anything with the friendship? I don’t think so.
Beyond all this… I’ve realized how much work goes into one of these celebrations. I’m still exhausted, and I didn’t plan any of it. I read, I carried my brother’s things around all day & called people for him, I took candids of the groomsmen… my role was small, but I’m still pooped out. And a bit bummed it’s all over. What am I going to do for the rest of the summer?
Comments (2)
I’d ask, furthermore, what is the line between online friends and real-life friends? Is it meaningful to say that just because someone has met you in person, they are more devoted to you, kinder, or otherwise better than someone who has only met you online? Or is it simply a safety mechanism?
Of course there are people I’ve met online that I would never want to meet in real life, but there are people I’ve met in real life that I never want to meet again in any form.
As of right now, most of the friends I have “online” are friends/acquaintances I already had/knew offline… Richard, Penny, Chuck, Wade, Kevin, Dr. Sullivan, etc. I have met a few people on here who are cool (the Spanish teacher, the political/religious young female blogger, you Moritheil), but I don’t know if I’d call ya’ll friends… maybe, maybe not?
On my private blog, I have one blogger friend who actually knows me; the rest I’ve never met, but they are interesting. I think I’ve called them very cool blogger acquaintances…