July 29, 2008

• Straight Up & Dirty… the title would lead you to think I’m reading something quite blasphemous, but, really, Chelsea Handler’s books were much more shocking. This book was a spontaneous purchase at Urban Outfitters when Alisa (my sis, the second-in-command I like to say) & I went to L.A. for Spring Break. Yea, I’m finally finishing it.

  Anyhow, towards the end of the book, the author’s therapist has her trying out some exercises to find out who she is (the author has written the first 3/4 of the book about how she married-young-divorced-due-to-cheating). The exercises have her listing what moments in her past have made her happy. Then the goal is to recreate those moments to really feel like YOU. Oddly enough, The Today Show, this very morning (titled “Find Your Inner Child”), also had a segment about how women should reconnect to what made them happy in their youth as well. Dig up pictures and journals, talk to friends from then. Basically, balance what you HAVE to do and what you WANT to do. Seems obvious to me.

  With all that said, I felt that I really found out who I was after a big breakup (right before I starting teaching high school in ’99) – similar to the author, Stephanie. So, as I was biking to workout this morning, I pondered like she did last night in my reading over what have been my happiest moments. Many of them have to do with laughing – with my siblings. Or when I used to teach them, so then later I can see why I feel into teaching; I find joy there too. Beyond that, like the author, I remember feeling joy and pride when I had accomplished something big, mentally or physically. When I ran the Breakfast Run (10ish miles to our coach’s house in the country. When my doubles partner and I beat the team from Fargo North (and then our girls tennis team went to State – first time ever for a girls team from Wahpeton). When I graduated from high school, and my dad said he was proud of me.  When I would sit in college classes with some of the greatest professors ever. When I could sit and read  – that’s been a big one for as long as I can remember. Getting my first teaching job. This may seem materialistic, but by being able to afford things, I feel the happiest about where I am in my life as well as who I am probably because it points to me gaining independence from others. Buying a car purely owned by me. Purchasing my aesthetically-pleasing iMac (that allows me to be creative). I’m sure there are more moments… in fact, maybe that’s why I look forward to the school year so much. I love to laugh, I love to teach, I love who I am in that classroom… I am also quite happy in my office creating new assignments; I’m happy reading new books and new ideas.

  • 12:39 pm
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