August 16, 2008

• Will uncomfortable subjects always be uncomfortable subjects?
  A question I mainly pose to myself… with Xanga’s homepage providing insightful blog entries on racism, with the Olympics causing us to question more about culture and politics and rules, with an election coming up…

  Uncomfortable subjects are those I detest talking about with my mom.
  - But I endure them because I think differently than she does, and I’m oddly proud of that.
  Uncomfortable subjects are those I bring up with anxiety in the classroom.
  - But I bring them up because I feel that some (key word = some) freshmen haven’t truly thought of what they REALLY feel about certain things. Are they really okay with the US in Iraq, or has their father/grandfather told them about “those people” over there and how “when he went to war, …” because I have that family. I come from military. I’m still upset with what my uncle said about my sister’s former French boyfriend.
  Uncomfortable subjects are those that are still whispered about.
  - “He’s gay.” “She thinks Hilary is a bitch.” “Oh, yea, um, he’s in jail for touching a girl.” “They smoke weed together; that’s why they’re friends.”
  Uncomfortable subjects are… not comfy, cozy, topics you can bring up at a random Thanksgiving dinner or even a bar scene with strangers or even friends.

  Perhaps the reason I don’t think I’m a racist (to connect this to the recent conversations on Xanga) is because I’m willing to talk about my possible prejudices. GET THEM OUT THERE. In the open. Let others judge me as I supposedly & possibly judge others. When a black student in my classroom a few semesters ago accused me of treating the white students better than he and his buddies, I asked him out into the hallway. I looked him straight in the eye and asked him if he really thought that, or if it was something that should just be said in a predominatly white community college because it was the “cool” thing to accuse me of (or an easy thing to accuse a young, white female teacher of = sexism & ageism). Perhaps I should’ve cowered, worried about my job, but I knew myself better. I wanted to holler that, yes, I was treating them differently based on their efforts and attendance, like many of the students in that classroom (and in many of my classrooms). I do judge based on whether students show up and do the work; go ahead and nail me down for that. He later apologized. And sadly, dropped out of our college.

  Just a semester ago, the word GAY was placed on my windshield in marker so I could read it when I plopped myself down to leave for the day. I guess it’s “out there” that I have no problem with homosexuals; this particular person wanted to do harm to me via my car because of that, I guess. I was frustrated, but I didn’t shrug it off. I filed a report, yet I’m sure nothing will happen.

  In communities like mine, I wonder if these uncomfortable subjects will remain as such because it’s still acceptable to tell racist jokes, call people the N-word, make fun of homosexuals, etc. I get more looks when I ask people to not say those things in front of me than I do when I participate and tell a dumb blond joke.

  Just a few nights ago, I was asked what religion I was, since my mom pointed out I’d “left” the Catholic faith. I replied, “Agnostic with a bit of Buddhism” refering to my love of the concept of karma. The woman across the table seemed, yes, uncomfortable. Moments later when I mentioned how I loved our family tradition of going to midnight mass on Christmas Eve, she had to clarify that, “See, you’re still religious.” I simply frowned.

  People want to be right.
  People want to pinpoint who others are with jokes or interview-like questions. (Tell a joke, and you’ll see who else hates Mexicans.)
  Yet people don’t want to be uncomfortable even when they put others in that situation.

  • 7:46 pm
  • 3 Comments