November 28, 2010

  • What does it mean to be healthy?

    My mind does its own mini-marathon of thinking. So, yeah, here was my train-of-thought while driving home today...
    Firstly, I thought of how I'll put together my holiday postcards soon. I thought the year I turned 33 would be a year full of... some cool things. Some change. I mean, I recall wanting a house and a dog and a new vehicle. None of those things have occurred. I didn't run the Half Marathon either or get into the Ph.D. program (too late; may get in for Fall'11), and the Chuck chapter I wrote hasn't been published (yet). It seems like I placed a lot of expectations on this year based on physical changes... and maybe it was just full of mental and emotional changes instead?

    Okay, so I thought of that stuff, and then I thought... about wants and needs. Do I need a house or a dog or a new vehicle? No, I want those things. Same with the Ph.D. (don't need one with my current job; a Master's is enough - I wanted one for additional mental challenges) and the publishing. Now, what is a need? A healthy body. I'm in the middle of my second Biggest Loser Challenge on campus; right now, I'm not quite where I even started at the Spring 2010 challenge (still have a pound to go before I'm there; I lost about 8lbs. during that challenge which means I gained about ten pounds last summer). Anyhow... I'm thinking about signing up for the Half Marathon (May = Fargo), and even while that thought occurred, I wondered HOW HEALTHY I AM ALREADY. Do I need to be ten (or more) pounds lighter? Maybe. But I may also just need to tone up, and be able to take staircases without dying.

    My BMI is not where it should be - is that my tool to use to measure health? My blood pressure has always been normal- same goes for other vitals. I'm not trying to excuse myself from losing weight or becoming more active; I'm just wondering what is the level of health I should be at? X pounds and the ability to run 3 miles in 30min? What's my goal? And while we're talking "health," how does one know they are mentally healthy as well? Just because I live in my head doesn't mean it's not full of crap.

    Long story short, this was the year that taught me to deal with "failure" and not even the worst type of failure. I simply didn't get what I thought was coming to me. I failed to get want I wanted, and instead, I had to refocus and look at what I needed. I got thirty-three lessons, and money ain't one.